Oh What a Feeling

As I become older I seem to think about certain things more."What the heck was I thinking" seems to be a recurring sentence in my thoughts lately. I always think why did no one stop me from some of the craziness I did. Don't get me wrong I wasn't totally dumb, but definately did some dumb things.
To be honest I think about the wrongs I did to others and sometimes it over flows my heart wanting to make those wrongs right. Like most people I think we are afraid of rejection of our apologies, but at least we tried?? Or do we suffer the guilt as a punishment for doing the wrong? I think "is this Hell", you know...like okay I have done wrong, hurt people and because I feel so guilty and lie awake sometimes tormented by the guilt that this is our Hell. If it is then "well done God". I love FaceBook and how it allows you to contact the people from your past or they contact you. It's a great feeling and exciteing to reconnect to the past.Then you lay awake and think of all the things that occured during the time of the friendship, you begin to see things that happened during that time of your life, maybe it involved this person or maybe it didn't. You just start looking back and you suddenly see. The Good, The Bad and The Evil! Ahhh that is life right, we all feel it, we touch on it. Well I have discovered...you have to forgive yourself...somehow someway forgive yourself. I still think you have to say your apologies, for now though I am just writing letters and putting them in envelopes. Don't think I will mail, still afraid of rejection. What about you? How do you forgive yourself, how do you apologize? and BTW if you read this and I ever did anything to hurt you...please know "I am truly sorry" and know that I mean it from the very bottom of my heart.